Life is What You Make It

Jeffrey was playing with one of those racks of nails that you can press into objects to see their relief on the other side.  He grabbed a Duplo block with four nobs, pressed it into the nails, and mentioned how it looked like a stop light.

Me: "Does a stop light have four lights?"
J: "Yes."
Me: "Well, what colors are the lights?"  (thinking to myself: what a great leading question.  He's sure to discover the correct answer on his own)
J: "Red, Yellow, Green, and Green Arrow."

My cousin Nathan and his amazing wife were featured on a local news story about homebirths. Check it out. I can't believe I held little baby Nathan in my arms years ago and now he's a father of two. Boy, am I old.

J: "Mommy, do you know what Kabloom means?"
Me: "No, what does Kabloom mean"
J: "Its a flower that's dying."

The other day, Jeffrey drew me a picture of the solar system complete with names of all the planets.  The picture also had two rocket ships.  He explained to me that the line from the sun to his rocket ship was so it could be powered by the sun.  The line between his rocket ship and Daddy's was there so that they could share power.  "But only half of the power!" he exclaimed.

Yesterday, Mary Lynn was playing with a Color Wonder pad and its four markers.  Jeffrey was role playing Swiper the Fox and attempted to take them away.  I suggested they needed to resolve their differences peacefully and pointed out the fact that there is another pad on the table.  As Jeffrey walked up to get the pad he immediately proclaimed, "I can use two of the markers and Mary Lynn can use two!"

Are four year olds supposed to understand the concept of fractions and do division in their heads?!?!

Leave it to my company to plan our night out at PNC Park to see the Pirates lose to the Detroit Tigers while everyone else in the city is glued to the TV watching some other Pittsburgh/Detroit showdown.

We actually had a great time at the ball park.  It was May and J's first time to a major league game and it was free hat night.  Since our ticket package also came with a hat we became the proud owners of eight, count them eight, Pirates hats.  The kids were great, mainly due to Daddy's deft snack planning.  They were stuffing their mouths the whole time with goodies from the grocery store instead of $10 hotdogs, so we had content kids at a bargain.

After the game we headed back to the parking garage, about a three block hike carrying a tired toddler and leading a complaining pre-schooler.  J's tummy hurt from all the sugar and we were hoping to find a rest room for him at the garage (it was in the Cultural District, so it was actually a pretty nice garage).  As we attempted to cross the last street, a police officer ushered us back while simultaneously ordering all traffic to complete a u-turn and go back over the bridge they just crossed.  There was a suspicious package and the bomb squad was busy doing their work.  Stranded. 

So we turned around and headed back to the park to see if they would let us back in.  A squirming pre-schooler holding his tummy is a convincing bargaining chip.  After loitering at the park as long as we possibly could we decided to head back over the bridge and see if we could circle the block and enter our garage from the other side.  About half way across the bridge we heard the explosion.  Likely just the bomb squad's device, but impressive none-the-less.  Sort of made up for the lack of fireworks and the Bucs loss.

We still knew nothing of the victory in Detroit as we drove home.  There was some crazy drivers, one honking his horn as he seemed to follow us up our hill.  At the next turn there were two girls shooting off some fireworks.  We still couldn't believe it because in all reports we heard at the ball game, the Pens were behind.  Since it took all of the energy we had left to get the kids in bed and crawl in ourselves, we didn't hear the news until this morning.  Way to go Pens!  2009 has been a great year to be a Pittsburgher.  What are the chances the Bucs will rally and make us the home of three championship teams?

Tonight at dinner, I helped Mary Lynn with something and she thanked me in her usual way.  "T Mo(mm)y!!!"  She says it in a very rapid-fire way that is just adorable.  I asked if she could say "Thank you", enunciating each sound.  She thought about it for a second and then exclaimed "Shi Shi!!!!"

I was reading this book by Anne-Marie Dalmais and had just finished:

Chicken was never happy just peck, peck, pecking arund the barnyard with the other hens. Now she risks getting her feathers wet shooting the rapids in her new kayak, specially designed by Raccoon.

J: "Why is she shooting bunnies?"

Pops: "I have a riddle for you:
A farmer had 26 sheep and one of them died,
how many survived? Its not 25."

Daddy: "26"
Fritzie: "26, since the farmer died."

Pops: "A farmer had 26 sheep and one of them died,
how many survived? Its not 25."

Daddy: "26. 26 is not 25."

Pops: "A farmer had 20 SICK sheep and one of them died,
how many survived? Its not 25."

Daddy and Fritzie: (rolling their eyes) "Ahhhh."

J: "A farmer had 99 horses and one of them went away, how many sheep did he have?"

All adults: "Ahhh HA HA HA!"

Daddy: (through laughter, with a tiny bit of sarcasm) "A farmer had 2899 sheep, but he failed to file his 1099. Who gets the house?"

May: "I do!" while raising her hand.

Mary Lynn has gone from a quiet and sweet "uh-uh" to "NOOOOOOOO!" Every.time. This week the "NOOOOOO!" comes with an adorable exaggerated pucker of her lips to accentuate the o.

When she doesn't know the name of something she replaces it in her sentence with "yo-yo". Most of the words in her sentence may be unintelligible, but the noun is always "yo-yo" accompanied with a point of her finger, so you know what she wants.

We're still working on sharing. She continues to say "MINE" in her angry German accent (now that I think about it, maybe she's saying "Nein!" (see above)). This has expanded to also mean, "No, I'll do it myself."

If J takes something from her, she doesn't resort to whining "Nooo", instead its a very short and mature-sounding "Hey!"

I'm proud to say I'm raising a very strong girl who's not afraid to stand up for herself.

Another way to look at it.... she's two.

Monday night I was catching up on reading the interwebs after being gone for two weeks and the kids were playing in the living room. I looked up when May started crying and saw the typical crime scene: the two of them standing a foot apart, May crying and J pleading that it wasn't his fault. It was strange that they were still both standing, since their confrontations usually result in May on the floor. Apparently, J was flying his plane, spinning in place as he usually does, and May walked right into the plane. When I saw bloody tears, I freaked out. After dabbing it, I could see the cut May had right under her eye. I called Chris out of the shower suggesting an ER visit. He pointed out that the cut was limited to the skin under the eye, she wasn't crying anymore, and her eyeball was crystal clear and bright blue as always. I couldn't rely on the not crying, since we all know she is one tough cookie, but I acquiesced since he promised to take her to the doctor in the morning. She's fine.

At bedtime J was acting very morose and told me through tears that he didn't want May to get a black eye. I guess he overheard Chris say that she might, and I imagine that's a pretty gruesome picture for a four year old. So I explained it was really just a bruise and he shouldn't worry about it, she would be just fine. I, of course, still needed convincing at that point, so I bet he saw right through me. Anyway, our conversation went into an interesting direction after he calmed down.

J: "Mommy, is an ant a living thing?"
Me: "Yes"
J: "What about a Jeep?"
Me: "Noooo."
J: "What about Blue Puppy?" (He sleeps with Blue Puppy every night. In fact, Blue Puppy's our current solution to bad dreams. He lays on J's head to scare them away.)
Me: (oh no, this is a trap) "Well, sweetie, not really."
J: "Well, he eats and everything like dogs do."
Me: "Yeah, but is he a living dog like Chester and Barley?"
J: "No, he's nice and doesn't bite. And he talks to me."
Me: "Oh yeah, what does he say?"
J: (whispering) "He says: 'It's okay Jeffrey, your imagination is good. You can sleep now, I'll keep your imagination good.' (slightly louder whisper) And then I say 'Okay Blue Puppy, good night.' I speak a little louder than him."

When asked to use his manners, J thinks he must include the word "May" along with "Please" even if it makes the sentence awkward. Yesterday we were in the car and he called out from the back seat "May I have a turnip, please?"

Me: "A turnip?"

J: "May I have a turn.up. please?"

Me: "Oh, sure." As I raise the volume on the DVD he's watching.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While playing with his new bean bag toss game built by Pops:
"Fritzie, you be the get-backer."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What he wants to be when he grows up has been a popular subject of recent conversations. His latest plan has him first building submarines, then completing a stint as an architect, and then opening a shop that sells eyeglasses and hair clippers.

I've noticed Mary Lynn is trying on a couple of completely adorable and only slightly new twists to her comedy act.

Small twist #1: Back at Thanksgiving, May walked up to a flower (silk), put her nose to it, and went "choo!" while putting one finger to her nose. Imagine a high pitched, girly-girl sneeze, which she would always hold for a second or two for dramatic effect. Yesterday, she pointed to the flower on her pants, said flower ("fowe") and then said "Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, CHOO!" The sneeze was much more dramatic than before and earned the LOL response from her Mommy she was seeking.

Small twist #2: One of the signs May still uses from time to time is "please". These days its usually accompanied by the spoken word ("peas"). Yesterday, after asking for milk and receiving my answer (no, since we were in the car and I forgot the sippy cup), she said "Peeeeeeeeese!", clasped her hands together and shook them back and forth, just like she was begging. Adorable!!!

Because I get up so early, I was sound asleep and missed the call at 10 pm. No voice mail or text, no facebook status, nothing. I obviously can't call now. What's a not-sure-if-she's-an-aunt-yet supposed to do?!?!?!?

Yesterday, after completing our chores for the day we decided to go out to dinner and do some shopping. We had a boring list of household products we needed at Target, but we were still looking forward to just getting out of the house. On the way we passed a sign for Steve and Barry's Going Out of Business Sale and debated about when we should stop to "just take a look". Since it was on the right hand side of the street, we agreed to make it our first stop and I would just run in and check it out. Well, a half hour later Chris called and I was only 1/4 of the way around the store. Since he and the kids were starving, I bought the stack of clothes in my hands and went out to the car. When I explained the insane deals in the store, we agreed to skip the sit-down family restaurant and just get take out. I ate my hamburger from the drive through back to S&Bs and Chris settled into the back seat to feed himself and the kids while watching Wall-E. An hour and half later I complete round 2 just so Chris could come in and look around, but I wasn't satisfied with the amount I purchased for J, so I held on to the shopping cart (a man asked for it as I left the cashier) and brought the kids back through the store with me. Everything was either 10 for $10, 5 for $10, or 3 for $10. That's right, nothing in the store was more than $3.33, and that price was reserved for things like jeans and winter coats. When all was said and down we came home with the following:
For May: 4 t-shirts, 2 pretty tank tops, 4 girly polo shirts, 3 pairs of capris, a pair of jeans, and a spring jacket.
For J: 2 t-shirts, 6 short-sleeve polos, 1 long-sleeve polo, 1 henley, 1 short-sleeve button down shirt, a sweater vest, swim trunks, 5 pairs of shorts, 4 spring jackets (yes, I went a little crazy, 3 are the same size), and a fleece jacket.
For Chris: 1 short-sleeve button down, 3 dress shirts, 3 ties, and a spring jacket.
For me: 12 t-shirts (they were $1 each!), 3 long-sleeve t-shirts, 2 dress shirts, 3 pairs of chinos, 2 pencil skirts, a pair of jeans, THREE winter coats, and SIX bras.

Grand total: $141.95

There were way too many clothes left in the store, so I'm going back today. I hope to repeat J's list for a few sizes up. There were very few things left for May, even in a size or two larger than she's wearing. I'm also hoping I overlooked jeans in my size.

While eating chili for dinner, Jeffrey looks over at me and gives me a thumbs up. Then he points at me and raises his eyebrows indicating he's expecting me to follow suit. So I put my spoon down, give the thumbs up, pick up my spoon, and go back to eating. Shaking his head vigorously, he points at my left hand and says:

"No Mommy, not the eating hand. The one that ate already."

I just went to warm up my car by pressing the remote start button on my key fob. Instead of starting, my car loudly protested and sounded the horn repeatedly. I didn't know it even had a panic button. And since I didn't know it existed, I had no idea how to turn it off. I quickly put my shoes on and ran to the car. I figured if I could get the key in the ignition it would stop beeping. As lights came on in my grumpy, rudely-awakened neighbors' houses, I fumbled with the key fob, pressing every button, while simultaneously trying to get in my car. My car reluctantly unlocked its door, but a turn of the ignition was met with a disappointing silence. From the engine that is; the horn was still blaring. I'm not sure which combination of button pushing and prayers that the car would start actually worked, but on the third try I breathed a sign of relief as the engine slowly started to rumble and the horn stopped beeping.

I figured I'd let it warm up a few extra minutes while I tell you this tale of my early morning panic. Who needs coffee when you can have a nice jolt of adrenaline in the morning?

Days until I see my family, that is.

I TOTALLY overestimated the time it would take me to complete my task at work yesterday. What a drama queen. I was out of there after only 13 hours.

I know people work longer hours doing much more difficult jobs, but I'm just not used to work having this much impact on my personal life. Not since I worked shift work studying nuclear propulsion anyway. And for that I got sweet bonuses and a shift differential.

Now the challenge is to drag my jello-for-a-brain self back in there in this frigid cold.

J: "Daddy, I love french fries!"

Chris: "Who DOESN'T love french fries?"

J: "I don't know. Mommy? Baby May? Let me give you an easier one: who doesn't love peanut butter?"

Chris is in the hospital so I'm home with the kids. By myself. Alone. There are no other adults here to help me. How do stay at home parents do this!?!?!?!?

Chris has had some severe abdominal pain and was admitted last night after the second visit to the ER in 24 hours. No diagnosis yet, but when May and I visited earlier he seemed in good spirits. I hope they figure this out soon and that its treatable. I hate to see him in such pain.

We plan to go back to see him after naps. Make that nap. Jeffrey's sleeping but May refuses to. Jeffrey's not quite sure what to make of this. Its scary knowing your daddy's in the hospital. We're all eager to have him back home.

I made the mistake of calling into the office to check on the progress of something due tomorrow. It would have been better if I still thought we had a chance of meeting the deadline.

Off to pull something out of the baby's mouth...